Case #8374659 – January 24th, 7:34 PM. Suspect is a red haired woman over the age of thirty. She identifies herself as Andi James and is filed under the Must Implement Liberal Frisking, or MILF category. The suspect is seen stealing sunglasses from the storefront. The stolen items are retrieved from her purse, along with one last item from her underwear. To avoid prosecution, the suspect submits to our behavioral correction regimen.
